| Joe slept with rosie |
[22 Mar 2006|12:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 face |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
face |
] |
Last night the i wasn't allowed on the bus with my bus pass. Oh well just another excuse not to come in.
I've decided that missing from MY gang is a big fat black lady who can sing really well preferably locomotion and preferably not from Wigan. I'm gonna make posters and she will be my best friend and Natalie will get pushed out of the group because we were only using her so the gang was PC (she's disabled)
Joe's rushing me the gay transexual
x x x x x
|
|
| Get on your knees bitch |
[27 Feb 2006|01:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 stressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
I love your mum |
] |
I'm just sat in the LRC contemplating doing work but i cba. Oh god i'm so behind. I didn't realise till today and i should of probably done some over half term but people kept coming round to my house and asking for sex and it wouldn't be like me to decline the offer.
I went to the lake district last weekend with Lauren, Vicky and nadia and it was well full of sheep. God they are such an ethnic minority. They were really cute except when its dark and they get a bit scary. We spent most of the time in the car looking at the views but we're too lazy to walk around and it was chilly. At night we smoked lots of pot and then were sleepy as there was no television so the only thing to do was sleep.
And now i'm back at college and must do work but still i just don't care enough. I want to leave and help ethnic minorities have a better future. Especially Natalie Millar as i don't think the world is fair on her.
x x x
|
|
| Jesus made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve |
[20 Feb 2006|09:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy shiny person |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the sound of alan partridge |
] |
I've just been to the fair it was so beautiful. They wouldn't let me in the circus house thing because i was too tall but i could of had a size problem. I hate sizeism it makes me want to cry because i felt abused. I saw Kirsty there shes such a slut. Oh my god the ghost train was shit i mean seriously you went in and it was just BINBAGS stuck on the wall with words for example scream and boo paint sprayed on them. It was terrible and i am not exaggerating on the crapness it actually was just plain crap. It was only £8 though to get in, well £7.99 but i didn't get my 1p change the robbers. I could of been giving that to charity and those gypsies decided to keep it for themselves. I feel raped. At least the rollercoaster was fun fun fun.
On Saturday Lauren, Natalie and Joe came to my house and we got really drunk and me and natalie decided to throw drinks over each other and pretend to fall out. She hit Joe with a belt it was like bondage and it was a big turn on. We watched Battle Royale and gave our own views on every single scene it was wonderful. Possibly one of the best moments of my life. Later on me and Joe went to the park and played on the facilities. I felt like i was 12 again, you know how it is, go to the park with a friend and end up getting bummed. Good times.
This morning my mum got off her holiday and opened her mail and there was a letter for her which was all about me and was so homophobic and so anonymous. A lot of you are suspects and i'm going to have to make you all do handwriting tests you utter bastards. I am making a joke about it but i was really upset about it. I cried a little. God homophobics. I hope i don't give birth to one, it would be worst than having a black baby. A ginger baby would be worse than a homophobe baby when you think about it properly.
x x x x x
|
|
| There is nothing left to lose |
[17 Feb 2006|10:56am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Tsunami bomb-take the reigns |
] |
Oh my god i just got to college and surprise surprise my first lesson is cancelled. I wish i was dead.
I haven't updated for a while and can't really be arsed doing it properly. But i'll just delve into my recent activities slightly...
My mum went on holiday last sunday which was good but as i am always at laurens it didn't really affect me. Might have a few people round on Saturday though because i don't want people to resort to pimps and ho's at casis. I want to save people from that hell as i am a good person.
I watched final destination three and if you've seen it, how fit are those girls in the sunbed shop when they get burnt?? I'd love to stick their raw-skinned fingers in me... Oh the fun i had on ye olde valentines day. I can't believe rosie put that card in Andrew/margaret's bag. What a hoot.
I played a butch game of darts on tuesday and we won because we are a bunch of mofos. A part from that i've just worked well with exception to last night when i went to the ship and did ye olde kareoke. It was a bunch of laughs.
Well that was a short summary. Not interesting really. I'm just waiting for K-unit (Kirsty) to get into college to give me my present from the wondrous New York. You are all so jealous it makes me sick.
Jesus called he said he wants his hair back...it'll never get old.
x x x x x
|
|
| I've cheered up!! |
[08 Feb 2006|02:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
starting to cheer up |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Eminem-Marshall mathers |
] |
Natalie has just text me to tell me that she saw a scal in a tracksuit and shoulder length hair who looked like a girl but had the voice of a gay man... deep and camp just the way we like it.
Ew i think its gross. I think these gays are breeding to make more. The mofos.
x x x x x
ps DON'T BUY THE BLONDIE TOP
|
|
| What the F*%k |
[08 Feb 2006|01:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
angry |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Eminem-White America |
] |
I still can't believe those Blondie t-shirts are in New Look. If slim and slender wears one i will have to kill her
|
|
| I'm such a copy |
[01 Feb 2006|09:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hyper |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Ugly Kid Joe-Everything about you |
] |
Joe and Natalie have to read this, a few answers are aimed at you
1. Where were you when the ball dropped for 2006?
"ball dropped"?? Being followed by a guy (who's actually my friend) because he kept wanting a new years kiss off me. He kept following me, bumping into me and then going 'oh you again' and diving in. I now need councilling. Oh and i was at the Ship surprise surprise.
2. How did you get the idea for your profile name?
Well my mum and dad came up with the Claire part, i had no say in the Saunders area either.
3. What time were you born?
11.50pm-ten minutes of birthday, you may laugh but there is a lot you can do in ten minutes.
4. What song are you playing now, or wish you were playing?
Ugly Kid Joe-Everything about you.
6. What color underwear are you wearing?
I'm not wearing any...
7. Do you want a baby?
No but Natalie Milly does
8. What did you do this morning?
Got up at Laurens and she drove me to a la college of lurrrrv
9. What does your dad do for a living?
Makes beer!! Well fixes machines that make beer, but hey there would be a lot less husband drunken abuse at wives without him so lets thank him for something.
10. What ended your last relationship(s)?
She had a spoon resemblence.
11. Do you have a date for Valentines?
I have a few.
13. What was the last concert you attended?
Manchester vs cancer which was excelletay, if i wasn't gay i'd want to be with Jonny Marr. He's my new "girl"
14. Who was with you?
Laureny boo, Vicky and Nadia
15. What was the last movie you watched?
Halloween, the Jamie Lee Curtis game has begun..
16. Who do you dislike at the moment?
Well after my conversation with Joe and Natalie today, i think it's everyone. Except for those mentioned in the song, you know who you are.
17. What food do you crave right now?
Minge on toast
18. Did you dream last night?
yes but it was very dull. I did wake up kinda sweaty though.
19.What was the last TV show you watched?
ER
20. What is your favorite piece of jewelry?
My guitar earrings that i never wear.
21. What was the last thing you ate?
Billy Bear which i ate at work well stole at work
22. Who is your best friend of the opposite sex?
Well i guess i'll have to say ginger phil even though he's a ginger minger and should dye his hair. Or Phil from work or Joe if i have to scrape the barrel.
23. Write a song lyric that's in your head?
Ali baba
24. Are you on any meds?
No
25. Which side of the bed do you sleep on?
The opposite to who evers next to me.
26. What shirt are you wearing?
A black one from my bedroom floor classy i know
27. What is your favorite frozen treat?
Minge on toast
28. How many tattoos/piercings do you have?
Two
29. What's your favorite store?
The one where the guy knows me in Warrington
30. Are you thirsty right now?
No
31. Can you imagine yourself ever getting married?
Only for money
32. Who's someone you haven't seen in a while and miss?
I see most people i want to but i haven't seen my sister for a while.
33. What did you do last night?
Played darts and then went to the pub and then stopped at Laurens
34. Do you care what people think about you?
Not particularly
35. Have you ever done something to instigate trouble?
Yes
36. What song(s) do you think ex's listen to and think of you?
TOUCH MYSELF
37. What song(s) do you listen to and think of ex's?
TOUCH MYSELF
38. What is one thing you wish you were better at?
Being nice to the ugly
39. What hurt you?
Natalie the day she wouldn't let me rape her that bitch.
|
|
| the boy has tricked us and he's stolen the book- after him!! |
[29 Jan 2006|05:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Hocus pocus |
] |
yo yo yo just watching hocus pocus, it's so good!
Last night i went to the Manchester vs cancer gig and it was amazing!!Jonny marr played Smiths classics and everyone was dancing and chanting it gave me chills. New Order also played Joy Division which was cool. Other Manchester bands played too like Badly Drawn Boy and The Doves. Also Bez and sean ryder made an appearance too. The show ended with everyone on stage. Jonny Marr played 'Ghost in my house' and Lauren was dead happy.
Afterwards me, Lauren, Vicky and Nadia got a bit confused about how to get to China town for a meal, we were gonna go out but the queue was too long for the club. When we were in the queue there were two Italians who Natalie would have loved as she loves the foreigners (she's trying to get a stalker from each different country-copy)
Lauren watched the end of Oldboy before, she enjoyed it.
Oh and its a shame, i'm ill. I think i'm going to die. So i'll write my will as soon as possible so i can give you all gifts. Anything specific people want for example my collection of lesbian pornography or pictures of my mum..?
God bless and Goodnight
x x x x x
|
|
| I slept with someone in fall out boy and all i got was this stupid song written about me |
[25 Jan 2006|08:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
In love |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Fall out boy- I've got a dark alley and a bad idea... |
] |
Well hello my fellow englishmen (that does not include any turkish stalkers called umral ahem) I got back from Leeds a few hours a go and i had so much fun!! Fall out boy were amazing, really really really good. Afterwards i went to this pub called the library and i hid because of the under age thing and lauren went to the bar but they asked her for id. I laughed as she's 23 this year.. We ended up in this other pub and then in my friend Nadia's local indian for some grub. I was gutted that i didn't have time to meet sean for a pound a pint before the gig, maybe next time sean!!
I watched This morning this morning (how confusing) and a trannie said 'Shit' i was flabbergasted. Trannies these days, they're bad news.
Oh i finally got round to watching Old boy and Lauren's watching it now. She's up to the part just before the tongue cutting scene which i found rather intriguing. It was like the ripping out teeth parts. I didn't want to see teeth being pulled out, but i did at the same time. Ewww he had sex with his daughter. Oh well some things just have to be done (that was a joke)
Natalie told me that people in Howley penetrate nine year olds.
OH speaking of that fuck face (Natalie) i saw a shop in Leeds called Aladdin, it looked amazing. Didn't have time to go there but i'm going Leeds again in a bout a week and a half so i will check it out and give you all the gossip...of the shop.
I'm off work today and desperate housewives is on i think that deserves a round of applause
x x x x x
|
|
| I'm walking on sunshine AND IT BURNS |
[22 Jan 2006|12:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
Laurens makin me a big brekkie |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
INXS- suicide blonde |
] |
Well hi there, i had such a crap time yesterday at work and stopped speaking to people and also told my mum to shut her face when she came in tesco, it was a laugh riot.
Later on i went to Manchester with Lauren and Vicky and we ordered a bottle of wine and didn't realise it was £12 and so £4 for one glass each. But you win some you lose some.
Then we went to South however we got there too late and there was a humongous queue so we went to the Tiger Lounge. It was fun except i wasn't really in the mood to dance and Lauren and Vicky were. Lauren tried to create her own Northern Soul dance bless her, she's such a doll. Then they played Artic Monkeys and by this point i was dancing and so the three of us danced and this guy came over and was really sarcastic to us.
Vicky kicked him but it wasn't hard enough so i belted him in the leg and he saw me so i made it look as though kicking my legs out backwards was part of my dance routine. Then we spat sweets at him. He shouted at Lauren and she just repeated everything he said. It was fun.
I met a gay man and he said 'Oh when girls hit on me i always say, look princess i'm a queen and i'm higher rank than you and im telling you to get lost' or something like that. Probably was cooler than that but i was drunk and don't remember. He was called James and i hope i see him again one day because he was nice. We really bonded.
So that's it really. Oh except some man said i look like one of those girls that should be in the back of a gangsta music vid because im blonde and big breasted. I just replied thank you now please leave me alone.
I know this is really long just a couple of more things to say, When will i ever watch Oldboy? I just don't have the time! And sorry Joe for ruining your dreams of London Baby!
x x x x x
|
|
| If i was a pair of shoes, i'd like to be on your feet |
[19 Jan 2006|02:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
chipper |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
LRC (you know that new band...chav's on computers) |
] |
Just had my english literature exam and i hope it went ok...it wasn't too hard. Now i'm going home and natalie's excited because her mum's making her a chicken sandwich. It'll be shite though because i bet her mum didn't go to dinnerlady school.
Desperate housewives was fabulous darling fabulous. I wish i lived on wisteria lane. The only drama i get on my road is who ran over the dead cat that's lying in the middle of the road. Bah humbug.
Me and Kirsty made posters for Wombellator's 18th...don't tell her though because were gonna stick them around college and their funny and she'll know it was us even though it doesn't state there actually for her. So keep your eyes peeled around college on monday
x x x x x
|
|
| How many dogs does it take to change a lightbulb? |
[18 Jan 2006|09:20pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
Angry with ipod |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Doors-People are strange |
] |
My ipod keeps not working on me darn it...but good news i passed my theory, yay!! Soon i'll be able to go about town picking up all the mingers (cause that's all there is in Warrington) especially in Howley.
I should be revising for my English Lit exam but then i found out Desperate Housewives is on later and now i just can't concentrate. I heard that in series they all unite and decide that I Miss Claire Saunders is not a hairy dinnerlady (which is one rumour going around at the moment) but a beautiful woman with the voice of and angel and nipples like bullets.
My ipod is so annoying!! Sorry to wibble on about it but i have no brain when it comes to computers or elctronic devices (well i can think of one or two battery operated devices i can work...my sudoku computer thing, i know what you were all thinking. PERVERTS.
I miss Lauren, she's at work and i came home to revise which is still in the thinking stage right now. I bought Kirsty a DVD for her birthday, i'm just hoping and praying she doesn't already have it...ok that was exaggerated i don't care that much.
Anyhow i've managed to wibble on and waste time fore a while now, half an hour till the girls are back in town
Chow for now biatchs
x x x x x
|
|
| I'm a member of the I hate Rachel Green club |
[16 Jan 2006|05:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
chipper |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Clash-London's calling |
] |
Today was so much fun!! A session of vandalising Michelle Mcmanus and making things out of paper. JOY.
My Natalie miller out of paper eventually turned into a chair and then a big ball OF FIRE
I suddenly cba writing so i'll leave it at that for now. Lauren's making me dinner how sweet.
What do you call a man with a really bad face? Joe Taylor...i amso funny and he won't be able to read it because he's blind so write what you want girlies
x x x x x
|
|
| If i could turn back time i'd go on a date with cher |
[12 Jan 2006|07:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Blondie-screaming skin |
] |
Well today i had my first exam and it was a history re sit and i was embarassed by a teacher who thought i had a mobile phone in my bag and i did not the little weiner...kirsty had a good laugh at my expense. Oh god, how funny is the word Ramadan? Go on think about it, its bloody hilarious and ask claire wombwellator to sing 'This could be rotterdam' because she thought it said Ramadan (see there was a good reason to laugh at Ramadan, it is slightly less racist).
After i finished college i went shopping with Joe and Emma and was forced into buying Old boy but i don't mind because i wanted to see it anyway. I also got sing along disney which includes classics like part of your world and prince ali (ha i bet natalie's peeing with envy)
And now i'm off to get my future told to me, it's all very exciting except i cant really be bothered i just want to go to bed, but you know the saying, Boys will be boys.
Oh yer joe, how's the disease? Y'know the one where you can't see...i bet this made no sense to anyone so sue me.
x x x x x
|
|
| Put that in your cranny and smoke it |
[20 Dec 2005|12:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Prince-Kiss |
] |
I actually had so much fun on saturday night...Kirsty, Claire and I played a magnificaent game of kinky darts however there should be a warning on it that its dangerous, i mean biting people's mouths how is that even possible??
Nothing amazing to report but Oh the fun of dancing to Kanye West just brightened up my life, no word of a lie check it respect e.t.c.
Might attend rock 'n' roll fancy dress at WA1 on New years eve just to live out my dream of dressing like cher in the 'If i could turn back time' video. That leotard is just 'oh baby.'
As you can see i have nothing interesting to report exccept my darn DVD player is broken and i haven't watched Battle Royale for what seems like years when it is actually days but i do have the Kiriyama book to keep me warm at night...
I just love my Greatest hitsa disney CD it includes classics such as 'Whistle whilst you work' 'Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo' 'Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious' (which is my favourite because it includes Dick Van Dyke yay!)'Friend like me' 'Beauty and the beast' 'I've got no strings' 'Little April shower' oh stop me before i name them all..
Unfortuantely Part of that world is not on it but i'll get over it, its my excuse to watch the film. Soon its Christmas ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
x x x x x
|
|
| Pull your knickers up and make me a a brew |
[15 Dec 2005|09:11am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 weird |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Blondie- Denis |
] |
Last night at work 3 little scals that were about 14 came in pissed and tried to buy a crate of stella. After calling me a dog and a slag and me getting ready to kill them, they made there way to the check out only to be asked for ID where they threatened to bite someone's ears off. Oh the joys of living in chavs-ville. I got knocked out on Nytol because Lauren drugged me and probably did things to me whilst i was asleep. I've got her number thats all i'm saying on the matter.
I just went and spoke to meryl and shes so patonising it actually made me want to be sick on her face the cocksucker. She made me stand there for 15minutes whilst she finished her conversation just to patronise me the flange.
Tonight its kareoke night i may wet myself i'm that excited. I love a good knees up but i'm so tired :( Don't think i'll be attending Histoire tomorrow because a girl's gotta sleep. I think i've wibbled on for long enough now. Good morning and god bless.
REMEMBER if it baa's don't shag it.
x x x x x
|
|
| I love the japanese |
[12 Dec 2005|09:33am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
LRC |
] |
Oh my God my film courseowrk is making me want to die. My plot is basically the nutty professor but better and uses white people. Natalie is ranting and raving as per usual, bless her, she'll only be happy with the japanese. My uncle was the same, we had to ship him to japan before he became mentally unstable. You kow what they say, you win some you lose some. Now back to my plot about a man who makes a potion to be pretty...
x x x x x
|
|
| Tired and fucking loving it! |
[02 Dec 2005|11:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The ramones-can't hear properly cause i'm far from speakers |
] |
I'm at lauren's right now because she's having a partay but i'm not feeling the party spirit. Waaa i'm so tired and have to work all weekend. Is that poopio or is that poopio??
Last night at the ship i saw an old man's willy and saw a fight well a man pushed another man for calling him gay. The guy deserved to get pushed he is a ritio wankerio. Tried to record people for my english languge coursework because i'm seeing how language changes when your drunk (oh how intellectual) but it was too loud. So instead i got a geordie man named copper to teach me geordie for example 'wyai man' and 'byer groove' you get the idea.
I hate this guy and he just threw paper at me but i'm beautiful and he is not so whos the real loser. Oh to be cuddled up in bed right now and pretending to compose the music from the royale battle. I bought some of leanne's present and some of natalies today...natalie will kill herself with delight when she sees what i bought her from a charity shop a la today. And thats it have a happy friday eve
x x x x x
|
|
|
[24 Nov 2005|10:05pm] |
|
joe made my new layout for my livejournal. oh yes.
|
|
| A quick thought... |
[22 Nov 2005|10:12am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sillybilly...etc |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
See my last entry (its from the same time) |
] |
You only live twice,
Or so it seems.
One life for yourself,
And one for your dreams.
Just found this online how lame...i bet a camp man wrote it
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
clairesaunders's journal